It’s the oldest prescription and advice for relationships: communication is key. We start learning lessons about communication from a very young age, observing and absorbing the communication behaviors of our parents. Communication patterns at home usually translate into the kind of communication patterns we will use as adolescents and adults. Children don’t become verbally aggressive or abusive on their own. They have to learn it from somewhere. Whether we have constricting boundaries in communication or a lack of boundaries, we can always improve the way we communicate. Learning how to communicate and improve communication are important for recovery. Many people are surprised to find that after quitting drugs and alcohol, they struggle to communicate how they feel, what they want, or what they need. Transmitting information from the brain to other people requires knowing what the brain is thinking and feeling. As we say in recovery, “you can’t transmit something you haven’t got”, which means, if you don’t have the communication skills, you aren’t going to be able to use them.
Examples of Good Communicator
Do you think you are a good communicator? Here are some simple questions to ask yourself to evaluate how you communicate to others, as well as with others. Communication is a two way street: both transmitting and receiving.
- You’re present in the moment, rather than trying to make the moment work in order to cure the past or change the future
- You are confident in asking someone to listen to you when you feel you are not being attended to
- You don’t ask to be fixed- when you want advice, you ask for it. When you receive unsolicited advice, you politely but assertively remind someone it is unwarranted
- You speak your truth instead of what you think others want to hear
- You speak nonjudgmentally and you listen without assumption or too much judgment
- You can make it through a difficult conversation by maintaining composure
- You stand your position without getting defensive. You also withstand from intentionally being offensive toward someone.
Communication is key when it comes to recovery. That is why, if you or a loved one are in need of help for an addiction or co-occurring disorder, it is critical to reach out. Lakehouse Recovery Center is here to answer your call and provide you with excellence in residential care. For more information, call 877.762.3707.